Endgame
by BregoArodShadowfax
Summary: Finn's had people telling him that he and Rachel are 'endgame' for as long as he can remember.  So why is he the only one who doesn't believe it?  Finn/Kurt


**Title: **Endgame

**Author: **AoiTsukikage

**Rating: **PG-13

**Characters/Pairing: **Canon pairings (most notably Finn/Rachel), but all roads lead to Finn/Kurt in the end…

**Chapter: **1/1

**Word Count: A little over 8000 (Where are all these long fics coming from?) **

**Spoilers: **Better say everything, just to be sure :)

**Notes: **Future!fic, so inevitably AU, but I tried to stick to what we know of canon for the most part.

**Summary: **Finn's had people telling him that he and Rachel are 'endgame' for as long as he can remember. So why is he the only one who doesn't believe it?

**Disclaimer: **I, unfortunately, do not own these characters, no matter how sad that makes me. I do, however, promise to return them when I'm done with them. :)

**Endgame**

Finn's thinks that he and Rachel are pretty much 'endgame,' whatever that is. Regardless, he's been told this a number of times in his high-school life, and now that he's out of Lima (still in Ohio, of course, because he doesn't have the drive to send him Eastward like Rachel does), a semester of college under his belt and Christmas holidays coming up, he thinks that maybe they're right.

Of course, it doesn't hurt that Rachel flew down almost as soon as her last exam was finished and now she's laying in Finn's arms in his bed (admittedly small, because it's a dorm, but at least he's not living with anybody).

Anyway, where was he? Oh yeah, 'endgame.'

000

The first time he hears it, it's still in junior year, and Santana has been pestering him to hook up with her ever since Rachel found out about the two of them and that motel room (and, to be fair, he didn't buy her dinner afterward. She was hungry and wanted a burger, so they ordered room service. He's pretty sure Santana duped him and dumped it in the garbage when his back was turned, because he's not entirely sure the thing was cooked).

"Look, Santana, I like you, but you're, like…"

"What?" she had asked, tilting her head and daring him to finish that sentence.

"…Nothing, never mind," he'd finally replied, and she'd merely sighed and ran her fingers up and down his arm in a way that made him shiver.

"But, maybe you're right," she'd smirked and leant in close enough that he could smell the cherry of her lip gloss, and he'd leaned forward involuntarily before she'd pulled away, tossed her hair, and stepped back. "After all, you and the dwarf are probably just 'taking a break,' right? You're pathetic, but you're probably endgame," she'd looked a tad put out by that, even though Finn hadn't the slightest idea what she meant.

"We're…"

"Oh, please, you _have _to know what that means," she'd sent him a challenging look that clearly stated that if he didn't she was never going to so much as _look _at him again, and he'd nodded dumbly until she'd appeared placated. "Good. Anyway, I'd probably just break your fragile heart anyway. At least I know what to expect with Puck," she'd waved and moved off down the hall, hips swaying, and Finn had thought that yeah, Santana was _way _hotter than Rachel, but she wasn't right for him. Maybe it was time to forgive Rachel…after all, she was kinda hot in her own way, and he'd mostly learned to block her out when she got too annoying.

He'd gone to look for her, but not before placing a quick call to Westerville asking about the word he'd been looking for to describe Santana. (The answer he'd gotten was 'polyamorous,' which he'd looked up later and realized was scarily accurate). However, in his haste, he'd completely forgotten to ask what 'endgame' actually meant.

000

The second time is just after their junior year. Quinn's mother had reluctantly agreed to let the Club use her backyard for a barbecue and he'd been watching the sun set as Sam ambled over to talk to him, dyed hair shimmering in the fading sunlight.

"So, you and Rachel are back together again, hey?"

"Yeah…I guess it was gonna happen eventually," Finn had replied, scratching his head, and Sam had merely thrown his head back and laughed.

"Dude, you sound surprised! We all knew it was gonna happen, okay? It's like me and Quinn," he'd turned to smile at his girlfriend, who'd given him her normal angelic smile in return. "Me and her…you and Rachel…we're endgame."

And there was that word again, Finn had mused, making a mental note to look it up later.

He'd forgotten, of course, but that wasn't the last time he'd heard the phrase.

000

The third time is almost their graduation, and Rachel had been flitting around like a mad thing adjusting her dress and her shoes and her hair until he'd been forced to grab her arms and tell her to calm down; it would all work out fine.

Eventually she'd flown out with Tina and Mercedes and Finn had tried vainly to tie his tie as Puck came in, hands in his pockets and whistling something tuneless. "Dude, your girlfriend's totally freaking out."

"No reason to. It's just like any other night, right?" Finn had replied absently, staring at the offending tie. Truth be told, he couldn't see why graduation was such a big deal. The Club was all so close that there was no way they'd not stay in touch, and of course they'd managed to finally win Nationals only a couple of weeks previous, so really this was no big deal.

"Yeah. Totally," Puck had shrugged.

"You could help me out, y'know."

"Look, Santana did mine, alright?" Puck had admitted, looking down, and Finn couldn't help but laugh at that until he realized that currently he had _no way to tie his tie. _

At least, until an exasperated voice had proclaimed "_Boys," _and Kurt had swept in, all perfect lines and neat hair and took hold of Finn's tie, trying to undo the mess the taller teen had made of it.

"Anyway, dude, you and Rachel have any plans after the summer? She's totally off to New York, right?" Puck had jumped up on the counter as Finn nodded.

"She's coming to mine for Christmas, she says."

"Wow, so you're stickin' it out," Puck had seemed surprised before giving Finn an approving smile. "Well, good on you, dude. I mean, it's pretty obvious the two of you are endgame, anyway, but still…"

And Finn had forgotten to ask, again, but the one thing he _had _noticed was how Kurt's normally sure fingers had faltered at the word 'endgame'.

000

He hasn't heard it since, but then, it's only been a couple of months, and he turns to look out the window of the high dormitory building to see fresh snowflakes falling past the glass. He has one more exam and then he and Rachel are off to Lima for the holidays, hopefully to meet up with everybody at some point for old times' sake.

Sometimes he wonders if Kurt's even going to come home for the holidays; ever since graduation, he's pretty much disappeared off the face of the earth. Finn hears from his mother that he's doing okay and that he's happy, but that's about it. Every call Finn makes goes straight to voicemail and his messages, both text and e-mail, are never returned.

He's starting to think Kurt's mad at him for something, although for the life of him he can't figure out what that could be (although it's been proven that plenty of times Finn hasn't known why Kurt's mad at him, and when he finds out he still doesn't quite understand why. He thinks that maybe the other boy's just overly-sensitive at times).

"Finn?" Rachel turns over sleepily, blinking at him in the hazy light as he presses a kiss to her forehead. "Did you even sleep?"

"Not much. Got a lot on my mind," he answers truthfully, continuing to stare out at the world and thinking that maybe it's time he tries to phone Kurt again.

000

He hears it again just before New Years, talking to Artie and Tina (he thinks they're back together; Mike had gotten a dance scholarship and Tina had stuck close to home, so that was pretty much the end of their relationship for the time being).

"So, you and Rachel, huh?" Artie elbows him in the stomach, and Finn can't really fault him for that even though it kinda stings.

"What about us?"

"Just that nobody would have placed bets on the two of you in high school," Tina supplies, examining her hair. The streaks in it are currently violet but obviously starting to fade, and she wrinkles her nose before flipping it over her shoulder. "Quinn and Sam, maybe, but not the two of you. We always figured, no offense, that she'd up and leave you for Broadway as soon as she graduated."

"Nah, I totally thought that, too," Finn looks across the room to his…he supposes she's still his girlfriend, really, even if this is the first time they've seen each other since August. "But heck, she's pretty hot, and she keeps coming back, so why wouldn't I want her to stick around?"

"Endgame," Artie mutters, and Finn opens his mouth to finally, _finally _ask when Rachel decides that karaoke needs to happen and Finn can't hear himself think over the music.

By the time he remembers that he was going to ask, he's back in bed, and once again it's too late.

000

Kurt, as it turns out, doesn't come home for the holidays. His mother tells him that he had landed an internship or something…Finn honestly wasn't paying all that much attention…and the only way he could get it done was to stay in New York over Christmas.

Finn still thinks that Kurt's mad at him for something, because this is getting ridiculous, but he just nods and makes up some line about hoping Kurt makes it home for the summer.

000

Rachel and he have a couple of days when they get back to his dorm, and by now he thinks he has a pretty good idea of what 'endgame' means even if he doesn't know the direct definition. But she's opened up a little since high school (and, Finn thinks smugly, she's gotten a lot less prudish, which can only be a good thing) and mellowed down at the same time, seemingly thinking before she speaks now instead of blurting out the first thing pertaining to her that she can think of.

The day she leaves she gives him a lingering kiss at the airport and says something he never would have thought he'd hear her say: it isn't 'call me every day' or 'look for me on Broadway' or 'Finn, you don't think Santana's hotter than me, do you?' (she still has a thing about that, it seems). No, it's 'I know where he goes to school. Do you want me to look for him?'

Finn says yes before he can think about it, and from the ear-splitting smile and second kiss he gets in return, he's pretty sure he got the right answer.

000

Rachel has no luck either, as she tells him dejectedly one night, and Finn tries not to think about what this all means (he's not sure why he cares, either. Just because his mom and Burt are married doesn't mean he and Kurt have to be best friends, but even when Kurt was at Dalton at least he was there to talk to. Now it's like he's disappeared entirely).

The months slip by and Finn and Rachel keep talking, about his school and hers, what shows she's tried out for lately, and inevitably whether anybody's heard from Kurt in the past eight months (the answer is no, as Mercedes tells him a little testily after the fourth phone call he's made to her in a week).

He finally gets his answer from what's probably an unlikely source, but at the same time is the one he should have tried all along.

"He's changed, Finn."

"Changed how?" Finn asks, gripping the phone so hard his knuckles are white, and he hears a sigh on the other end.

"I don't talk to him all that often either, to be honest with you, but at least he answers my calls when I do," is Blaine's rather tired response. "But I don't think he's mad at you. I think he's re-evaluating his life and trying to do it without any outside influences."

"But…"

"Look, I know you miss him, but Kurt's strong," Blaine says firmly. "He'll come back to you when he's ready. Just…give him a little time."

"Okay. Thanks."

"Should I tell him you're still looking for him?" Blaine eventually asks, and Finn ponders that for a second before forming a reply.

"No. You're right. He'll come back when he's ready."

Blaine doesn't say anything, but Finn can tell that he approves, and he starts to get a sense of why Kurt likes the guy so much.

000

The end of the school year comes around and Finn gets ready to go home; everyone in the Club is planning a 'we survived the first year of college' celebration (at least, those who went to college. Which was surprisingly more than he'd first expected, to be honest). Rachel comes to visit again before he leaves the campus, telling him that she'll need to go back to New York in July because she's got a short stint as a backup singer in something-or-other, and she's already bought him tickets to go with her.

He nods and smiles and kisses her, still marvelling that she hasn't found anybody in the city, and he must voice this out loud because she laughs and pats his arm while telling him that everybody there is just too much like her for her to get along with properly (he involuntarily imagines an entire city full of Rachel and Jesse clones, and it makes him shudder).

The trip back to Lima is quiet save for some CD of the musical Rachel's doing as she pages through a script and sings along with the melody line that she, of course, won't actually be performing, but Finn knows that this, at least, will never change. Rachel Berry will _always _covet the lead role; whether she's actually playing it or not is irrelevant.

They show up at the party and Finn hopes he can make it through the night without hearing that word again, but of course his hopes are in vain as Mike comes to talk to him. "So, you and Rachel are sticking it out?"

"Guess so."

"I thought I could do that with Tina, y'know, but these long-distance relationships just don't work," Mike is watching Tina and Artie but he's so good-natured that he hardly looks jealous. "We tried for a couple of months but it was just too hard. How do you do it?"

Finn wants to say that Rachel's really doing all the work, but he just shrugs. "Dunno."

"Maybe the two of you are just meant to be together. Endgame," Mike leaves to snag some appetizers as Finn blinks after him, several lightbulbs going off in his head at once:

One: He thinks he finally understands what endgame means.

Two: The last time Kurt had really talked to him was graduation night, and after Puck had said that he'd never been the same around Finn.

Three: Okay, that's pretty much all that he realizes in that moment, but…

He digs out his phone and sends a quick text regarding the definition of the word; not really expecting an answer but figuring that it can't hurt. Rachel comes back, looking radiant, and he stuffs the phone in his pocket and goes to dance with her, wondering why everybody but him seems to think that they were always going to be like this.

000

He gets the answer in an e-mail two weeks later on a Saturday, and it's suitably sarcastic enough that by now he's pretty sure he was right when he first thought Kurt was mad at him. It goes like this:

-Technically, it's a chess term, but somehow I doubt that's what you're asking me about. And I'm nearly certain that you know how to use Google, so I fail to see why you're asking me at all except as some desperate attempt to communicate with me. Therefore I will paraphrase a website, which you could have easily found, and please stop texting/calling/e-mailing/otherwise trying to get in touch with me.

In short, it means that no matter what tries to pull two people apart, they will inevitably end up together again.

Goodbye.-

And that was it. No signature, no greeting, no nothing. And by now, of course, Finn's already figured out that it's just kinda a fancy way of saying 'meant to be,' but he still doesn't know why Kurt's mad at him about it.

Unless…oh.

Oh.

Finn's scrambling for the phone again, and before Mercedes can berate him for calling he blurts out, "Hey, Mercedes, does Kurt still…y'know…_like _me?"

Mercedes heaves a long sigh on the other end of the line, says something like "You're just figuring that out _now?" _and tells Finn she'll be over in an hour if he wants to talk.

He does.

000

"Why do you think we were never together?" Blaine asks him a couple of weeks later. He's not sure why the other man's in the area, but Finn's kind of grateful. He and Blaine don't know each other all that well, but Kurt very obviously adores him, and Finn supposes he's kinda cute…if you're into that sorta thing. "I know Kurt was attracted to me, but I could never quite shake the fact that he was more attracted to somebody else. He's quite secretive, though, and it took me a while to figure out it was you…I've never asked him outright, but I'm right, aren't I?"

"…Yeah," Finn admits, somehow ending up spilling everything that had happened between him and Kurt since their sophomore year, and Blaine listens patiently until he's done talking.

"I see," is all the dark-haired man says, leaning forward and glancing sideways at Finn before he nodded, seemingly deciding something in his own mind. "The problem with Kurt…is that he has hero-worship issues. You're the first popular kid to show him some kindness; he falls in love with you. I'm the first openly gay teen he meets and I befriend him; he falls in love with me. I don't know that it ever went beyond that for us, but I think that, somewhere along the way, his hero-worship of you became actual love," he explains, and Finn can see what he's talking about immediately. Kurt gets kinda creepy when he decides he wants something, especially since all Finn really did was stop some of his clothes being ruined by going dumpster-diving.

"So, you think he really does still love me?"

"No, I know he still loves you," Blaine gives him a little smile and Finn can pretty much figure out at this point that, if Kurt had been willing, he and Blaine would have been boyfriends for years already. "But just give him a little more time. He'll come back," the other man assures Finn, clapping a hand to his shoulder briefly before standing.

Finn watches him go, thinking that even though he finally has his answer…right now, he kinda wishes he'd never gotten it.

000

Blaine's prediction of 'a little more time' turns out to be midway through June, and Finn is at the corner store stocking up on junk food for the game (all the guys are coming over so he figures he should get a lot and wonders briefly if he could get away with buying some booze…but then, Puck'll just bring his own, anyway, so it hardly matters).

He's just paid and is picking his bags off of the counter when he hears the little bell above the door jingle and turns on instinct, his mouth going dry instantly (and normally it would take a significant amount of…well…boobs to make it do that, but crap, when did Kurt become _hot?) _

Kurt is…Kurt, despite Finn not having seen him in a year. He's wearing knee-high black boots and red…Finn doesn't know what the technical name is for his pants, but he swears that they have got to be _painted _on, they're so tight. Finn's trying really, _really _hard not to stare by this point, because he's totally not into dudes, but…

Kurt turns and meets his eyes, blinking, and Finn immediately snatches up his bags and leaves the store, not looking back.

He realizes on the way home that him leaving might just have destroyed their friendship altogether, and tries desperately not to care.

000

The game, as predicted, is _loud, _and Burt comes over to watch for a few minutes although basketball isn't really his thing (Finn likes football better himself, but it's summer, so there's not much to watch at the moment). "But it's the playoffs!" Puck protests when Burt voices this, and the man shrugs and studies the screen for a few seconds.

"Ah, what's the point? The Lakers'll just win again," he announces before leaving, and Kurt sweeps through the room a moment later, seemingly ignoring everybody except when he comments, rather loudly, "I don't _care _if that team's been around for a hundred years; whoever designed their uniforms was obviously colorblind," before rushing down to his room, and even with the television blaring, the room goes utterly silent.

"Go talk to him," Puck shoves his shoulder, and Finn wants to protest but really, what can he say to that?

"I…"

"Go, Finn. We all know why he's here," Artie mentions, and Finn opens and closes his mouth a few times before nodding stiffly and getting to his feet (the game's not that important…and Burt's probably right, anyway).

000

"Why, hello, Finn Hudson," Kurt is laying on his bed, loose shirt riding up enough that part of his stomach is exposed, and Finn pointedly doesn't look as he shuffles through the room.

"H-hey, Kurt."

"May I ask why they've delegated you to come speak to me?" Kurt sits up, crossing one leg over the other and looking utterly relaxed even as Finn shifts from foot-to-foot and feels completely out of his element.

"I…I mean, we think that…I'm the one you've been avoiding, so…"

"Of course, it's always about _you," _Kurt sighs dramatically before tossing the magazine he's been reading aside, locking eyes with Finn. "Regardless, is there something you wish to ask me?"

"Uh…we're all just…" Finn sputters. "We're watching the game, and I know that that's totally not your thing, but if you wanna join us…and then tonight the Indians are playing, so we'll probably watch that, too, and…"

"Finn, sweetie, you're babbling," Kurt gives him an almost coy smile. "And as much as I deplore watching sporting events, I may make an exception because, although you seem to think I've been consciously avoiding you all year, I _do _miss all of you," he leans to the side, the wide collar of his shirt slipping to reveal more of his neck and chest, and Finn's eyes dart to the bared skin involuntarily before he swallows and turned around.

"Right. Well. Come up if you want, then…"

"Do you want me to?" Kurt asks as he turns, and Finn stares straight ahead and blinks for a few seconds, realizing that he's already messed up with Kurt enough times that saying the wrong thing (or, alternatively, the thing he wants to, which is that it doesn't matter) could seriously damage their already fragile relationship.

And so, he says what he actually means, although it isn't in him to turn around just yet. "Yeah. Yeah, dude, I do."

000

Kurt comes in like a ghost a few minutes later, migrating over to the red Ikea chair in the corner of the living room and curling up in it, his pants nearly blending into the cloth because they're that close to the same shade (the chair had been a present to Kurt the Christmas of his senior year, because Finn still knows that red is his color and that Kurt has an affinity for Ikea, and Kurt had taken one look at the boxes and declared that if Finn bought it for him the least he could do was put it together. In the end, Finn almost broke the chair one too many times and Kurt stalked over, fuming, and Finn can't remember all of the specifics, but they have a built chair by the end of the day and he's still pretty darn proud about that).

Everybody else in the room seems just as apprehensive to speak to Kurt, though, so Finn doesn't feel too bad, and his stepbrother sits like a shadow for the rest of the basketball game and into the baseball one, which is a little weird for Finn because he doesn't think he's ever been in a room with Kurt and _not _noticed the other boy.

Eventually somebody or other complains about being hungry and Finn is sent to the kitchen for snacks, although he pauses by Kurt's chair on the way by. "Can I get you anything?"

"I'm okay," Kurt looks up quickly before turning back to the television, and Finn doesn't press the issue as he heads for the kitchen. He comes back with bowls full of snacks and everybody quickly digs in, although he's pretty sure Kurt hasn't eaten anything all night.

At some point he looks over and Kurt's gone, although he never sees him leave.

000

Rachel, to Finn's surprise, is ecstatic that Kurt is back and immediately asks him if he wants to come along when they head for New York next month (also because Kurt, for some reason unknown to Finn, has an apartment of his own and Rachel wants to stay there). He accepts grudgingly, and Finn thinks that he's still far quieter and more withdrawn than Finn has ever seen him.

Kurt's apartment is pretty much smaller than Finn's dorm, but he thinks that at least Kurt can say it's his own and keep clothes in his closet and whatnot. It really only consists of a kitchen, a small living room, and then the bed/bath combination, but Kurt mutters something about Finn and Rachel taking the bed and he'll pull out the sofa, which apparently doubles as a bed.

Rachel is off the first night they get there to rehearsals, warning Finn that she'll be there a lot the first week until her part in the official show, and Finn is kinda glad that Kurt's here, now, because he'd be bored out of his mind otherwise.

Not that, he realizes after a few days, Kurt's the greatest company. So far he hasn't really made any moves to make Finn feel welcome, and Finn feels really bad whenever Rachel comes back from rehearsal, looking flushed and happy, and Finn kinda wants to just fool around but he doesn't because Kurt's like right there.

They go to see Rachel's show the first night she's on (she's also, of course, gotten them tickets for the last night), and while she's on-stage for maybe a total of ten minutes and stuck behind somebody way taller than her, he's happy for her because he knows she's living her dream. Kurt is a silent spectre beside him, barely reacting, and Finn wonders once again what's going on with him.

He takes a chance after the first intermission and reaches to let his hand lightly touch Kurt's knee, but the boy jerks like an electric shock has just gone through his body and pulls his leg away.

Finn doesn't try to touch him after that.

000

Another week in and Finn is going out of his mind, wondering how he and Kurt can co-exist in the same apartment and completely ignore each other. He wakes up one night, his mouth dry, and decides to hop to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Opening the fridge, he sneaks a glance at Kurt, slightly illuminated by the moonlight but facing away, and Finn chugs one glass and then, after a few moments of deliberation, a second one. He wipes his mouth, deposits his glass in the sink, and heads back to the bedroom when he hears a sniffle coming from the direction of the couch.

And crap, he's no good with being comforting, but Kurt's obviously hurting, and he's not gonna just ignore him.

"Hey, man," Finn sits down on the pull-out bed and whispers, hand gently coming to rest on Kurt's shoulder as the other's breath hitches at the simple action. "What's up?"

"Go away."

"Nah, not gonna work, dude," Finn decides, and he can hear Kurt let out a sigh of utmost defeat. "Look, you can tell me anything, alright? What's on your mind?"

"You, Finn Hudson, are quite possibly the most infuriating person I've ever met," Kurt's face is buried in his pillow and his words are a little muffled, but Finn can hear him clearly enough. "I ignore you, am constantly rude to you, push you away, and yet you still persist in making these gestures that seem to imply you wish to be my friend."

"Well, of course I wanna be your friend, dude! I mean, I am your friend, right?" Finn's a little confused, but he can hear Kurt laugh weakly so he figures he's said something right. "Look, if this is about the endgame thing…"

"What _is _the endgame thing, anyway?" Kurt finally turns, his eyes wet and red, tear tracks glittering on his face in the moonlight, and Finn feels something clench in his chest, hand coming up to brush the tears away before he even thinks about it. Kurt pulls back again but Finn's decided that enough is enough, and he lays down facing Kurt and circling an arm around his back.

"I dunno, really," he finally replies, noting that Kurt is tense as a bowstring in his arms, and he unconsciously lets his hand roam over Kurt's back, trying to relieve some of that tension. "Just, ever since Rach and I got back together after the whole Santana thing, basically everybody in the club has called us that at one point or another. I mean, Puck called us that the night we graduated, and that's when you started totally avoiding me, so I thought that maybe that was the reason."

"Maybe it was part of it," Kurt concedes, finally relaxing minutely although he makes no move to scooch closer to Finn. "I guess I'm just tired of hearing about true love when I know I'll never find it."

"Aw, dude, that's totally not true…"

"Yes, it is," Kurt has this weird little half-smile on his face that he gets whenever he's really, really hurting and trying to cover it up. "But I've accepted that, and I don't mind so much anymore. I just wish you'd hate me a little more."

"Dude," is all Finn can say, and Kurt sniffs and sits up, looking adorably dishevelled wearing loose pyjamas and an elastic headband to keep his hair from falling into his eyes. He looks so different from the Kurt in the corner store that day, and right now he also looks about twelve, and Finn suddenly feels an overwhelming urge to protect him no matter what.

He remembers Coach Sylvester calling Kurt 'Porcelain' from time-to-time, and he thinks that she was right, because with the moonlight shining on him and turning his skin an almost translucent, milky white, he looks like he could break oh-so-easily.

And Finn knows that's mostly an illusion - Kurt's like one of the most driven guys he knows, after all, and he's definitely got one of the biggest personalities, but Finn also knows that a lot of his bravado is a front, like pretending he's unaffected by what people say about him means he's more likely to believe it.

"Finn?" Kurt asks in a tiny voice, sounding remarkably unsure, and Finn pulls him closer in reply and hugs him. "Finn, I'm sorry…"

"Nah, it's okay," Finn says gruffly, telling himself that he'll just hold Kurt until he goes to sleep and then slip back to Rachel.

He's still there the next morning.

000

Which, for whatever reason, is when Rachel tells him she's breaking up with him.

"But Rach, we weren't…"

"Finn, this isn't about you and Kurt, really," she assures him, patting his shoulder. "It's just…I've been thinking a lot, and I know that we love each other, but sometimes I wonder if we're not still together because everybody seems to expect it."

"Endgame," he says quietly, and she nods.

"You've been hearing that too, then?"

"Yeah. Like a lot."

"Well. The truth is, I think the reason we're working right now is because we only see each other a few times a year. Let's face it, when we were in high school, we never made it more than a few months at a time without inevitably having a tiff and breaking it off, but now I just don't think we're around each other enough to get in arguments," she explains, sounding completely rational, and Finn has pretty much seen this coming from the beginning. "You can say something," she prompts when he just continues to stare at her, mouth open slightly, and he shakes his head.

"Y-yeah. I mean, yeah, I was gettin' kinda tired of everybody acting like we're just supposed to be together or somethin'. I really like you, Rachel, but…"

"You don't see us together in five or ten years," she nods. "And I think I'm going to be spending a lot more time in New York regardless…"

She looks so hopeful and Finn tries to figure out what could have caused it, coming to one conclusion pretty much right away. "No way…"

"I tried out for a show last week…I didn't tell you because I didn't think I would get anything, but…" she's smiling that smile that makes her whole face light up and Finn suddenly _gets _it. He's totally happy for her, because he wants her to do well, but he's happy for her as a friend. And it's not that he wants everyone in the club to be wrong, not really, but he's kinda glad that Rachel agrees with him that they all wrote them off as 'forever' before the two of them could.

He realizes he's been thinking for a while and Rachel is looking at him expectantly, so he blurts, "That's so awesome, Rachel!" and hugs her, spinning her around.

"It's not a big part," she continues once he's put her down. "And it's only a couple of lines, but…I get to sing. On Broadway. In front of people!" she nearly squeals, and he kisses her on impulse, but it's totally just a friendly kiss and they break apart, both laughing joyfully with their arms around each other.

Which, of course, is when Kurt comes in.

And then abruptly turns around and leaves.

000

Rachel, again surprisingly, immediately rushes after him and Finn decides to wait a bit before going to join the conversation. He thinks that, yeah, it probably looked a little weird, but it's not like they were doing anything really…inappropriate (that was the word, wasn't it?) or anything, they were just kissing.

Rachel comes back five minutes later and sighs. "He's better. But I think you should talk to him. I'll run across the street and grab us coffees," she gives Finn a smile as she heads past him and out the door, and he moves into the bedroom, finding Kurt curled up in an armchair and still dressed in last night's pyjamas.

"Hey, dude."

"Sorry," Kurt says, the words sounding automatic, and Finn shakes his head and drops to his knees beside the chair.

"Nah, it's fine. I mean, it couldn't have looked very good…"

"No, considering all I saw was you spinning her around the kitchen and kissing. I thought you had proposed or something," he sighs and Finn thinks about that for a second before barking a laugh that has Kurt staring at him curiously.

"Dude, she didn't tell you? We broke up."

"And you kissed her for that?"

"Yeah. Well, no, not for that…that was for her getting that part in whatever musical, but we just decided that the only reason we haven't been fighting much lately is because we really haven't seen each other that much…but if we had to live together I don't think we'd last very long," he smiles. "Anyway, she's getting coffee for all of us. Wanna come out?"

"Yes," Kurt lets Finn take his hand and urge him to his feet. "Really, Finn, I _am _sorry about how I've been acting. I just…I don't know what's happening with me."

Finn thinks that he probably does, but he's not going to mention it until he's really sure.

000

"You have to tell him yes or no," is what Blaine says the next time he calls. "If you want to be with him, and I think a part of you does, then tell him that. If you don't, let him down gently but firmly. It's the hoping that's doing him in, because he doesn't know whether to give into it or not."

"But dude, I'm not…"

"You've never looked at him and thought he was attractive," Blaine phrases it as a statement, and Finn figures he already knows the answer for that. "And I want the truth, Finn, because honestly, if you aren't going to be with him, I just might steal him from you."

Blaine is probably serious, but there's enough humour in his voice that Finn knows he's only teasing for the moment. "Yeah. I mean, he's…"

"I care about him a lot, Finn, and I wouldn't give you my blessing if I didn't think you were right for him," Blaine says quietly.

"I…I know. Thanks, dude," Finn sighs and looks up as Kurt walks back into the living room, dressed for the day, now, and wearing a pair of slim-fitting jeans that make his legs go on forever and…okay, so Finn thinks he's kind of hot. Yeah. "Anyway, I gotta go."

"Right. Call me later," Blaine tells him and Finn promises he will and hangs up.

Kurt gives him an appraising look and heads out the door, leaving Finn to channel-surf until he sweeps back in, holding an envelope. "Get dressed, we're going out."

"W-we are?" Finn looks surprised. Rachel had taken off to rehearsal after they'd had their coffees, and even though Finn had been hoping that he and Kurt could do something fun, after almost two weeks of nothing he was beginning to give up hope.

"Yes, so get dressed," Kurt repeats, crossing his arms leaning against the door.

"But where are we…"

Kurt drops the envelope in his lap in response, and Finn opens it. "Dude, you got Yankees tickets? These are, like, super expensive seats! How on earth…"

"A guy in my class knows somebody on the team. And I know I've been unfair to you for…a long time now, so this probably won't make up for everything, but…"

"Man, you're the best!" Finn is on his feet in an instant and he sweeps Kurt into his arms, the other boy squeaking before he returns the hug, rather fiercely, and Finn can't bring himself to cut it short now. Kurt's warm and smells good and fits in his arms and…aw, crap, Blaine's right; maybe he _does _have a thing for his friend. "And I know you hate baseball, so this totally makes up for everything."

"Really?" Kurt asks his shoulder, hands gripping the back of Finn's old t-shirt.

"Yeah, totally," Finn repeats, finally letting go, and the fact that Kurt seems to want to keep holding on only tells him how hard it's been for the other boy to pretend to be indifferent all year. "Well, c'mon, or we'll miss the first pitch!"

000

"And that's the shortstop; he has to…"

"Finn, sweetie, I _do _know what their positions are; I just have no interest in the game," Kurt tells him vaguely, but Finn's nearly hopping in his seat with excitement.

" 'Kay. Cool. I'm gonna get food, you want anything?"

"Mass produced, grease-filled mystery meat? No thanks," Kurt waves him off, but Finn gets two hot dogs anyway (after all, he might want that second one himself) and gives one to Kurt, bugging him until he finally relents and takes a bite.

"Just so you know, I'm eating under protest," Kurt informs him, although he eats the whole thing and even some ice cream that Finn gets after the fact. "Protest," Kurt repeats, adjusting his cap and leaning back in his chair. "And now I'll spend the next two weeks working it off."

"Dude, you look awesome," Finn says, really without thinking, before realizing how that sounds and also realizing he really didn't care.

"Well, thank you," Kurt briefly meets his eyes before staring back at the field, obviously trying to pretend he's interested. Finn, at some point during the game, slings his arm over Kurt's shoulders.

This time, Kurt doesn't move away.

000

Rachel's last show as a background dancer is another success, although Finn still has no idea what the musical's about. Kurt seems to like it, though, so he's going with that for the moment.

They give her flowers afterward (Kurt tells him it's pretty much a closing-night tradition), and she's pretty much happier than Finn's ever seen her but she has to run because a bunch of the cast are going out for a late dinner.

Before she leaves she pulls him aside, still smiling widely. "So, I've talked to Kurt already, but I think I'm going to stay somewhere else starting tomorrow."

"What? Why? We totally want you around!"

"I know, but Kurt's place is tiny, and it's a little awkward to be sharing a bed now that we're no longer a couple."

Finn can't really argue with that, so he nods and asks, "Where are you gonna stay, then?"

"Oh, I have friends from University that are still here…and I won't be going back to Lima with the two of you, either; rehearsals for my next part start next week, so it hardly pays," she rattles off, patting Finn's arm. "Thank Kurt for the flowers, will you? I know it was his idea."

"Yeah. I will," Finn nods as Rachel looks at him before her eyes go to Kurt.

"And, as much as it pains me to say this, me being gone means the two of you will have more time _together_," she emphasizes the last word and says it slowly before kissing Finn's cheek and rushing back to the dressing rooms, and Finn blinks after her for a few minutes before saying (out loud and totally scaring the little old lady walking by him at the time):

"She _knows?" _

000

He and Kurt decide to stay for another week before flying back to Lima; Kurt still feels kinda bad for not showing him the city beforehand, and Finn really can't complain because this is the most time he's gotten to spend with Kurt since they graduated. He's still trying to figure out how Rachel had guessed that he was feeling…_something_…for Kurt, but he figures that it's probably some sort of girl-instinct and he'll never understand it anyway. And besides, he really hasn't been that obvious, has he? (Okay, so Kurt's been wearing a lot of tight pants and low-collared shirts lately, and he's kinda been looking, but…okay, so he really has no excuse for that one.)

Kurt takes him out on their last night to a rather high-class restaurant (mostly because Finn had dragged him to a sports bar a couple of nights before), and while Finn's kinda worried that people are gonna think they're on a date or something, Kurt seems really unconcerned so he doesn't freak out too much (although he _does _have to endure clothes shopping with Kurt because he didn't think to bring any suits along. Kurt keeps trying to convince him that mauve is in for guys this year, but he's not having any of it).

And yeah, the food is great, and the night's warm enough that they can walk back to Kurt's apartment. They're about halfway back when Finn sees a couple of guys, probably only a couple of years older than the two of them, walking down the street and holding hands. Nobody's even really giving them a second glance, so Finn decides to take a chance (after all, he and Kurt have gotten pretty close in the past week, and in some ways it's like Kurt hasn't been ignoring him for a year. Kurt's different, a little more self-assured and a little less vain, but he's still _Kurt _and Finn's happier than he can say that he has him back) and reaches for Kurt's hand, earning a disbelieving glance from the shorter boy before Kurt gives him a rather resigned sigh and takes his hand, smiling at him in the glow from the streetlights.

Finn thinks it's pretty much perfect.

000

"So, are we dating and I just never realized?" Kurt's in his pyjamas now, wearing a shirt that falls rather distractingly off of one shoulder, and Finn shrugs and unbuttons his shirt. "Shrugging me off is not going to get me to go away, Finn Hudson," Kurt sits on the bed, crossing his arms and giving Finn a look that clearly says he's not leaving until he gets an answer.

"I mean…look, dude, this is kinda awkward, and…"

"Finn," Kurt says firmly, and Finn shuts up. "Judging from your constant text and e-mail harassment of the last year, the fact that you keep trying to touch me and initiate conversations with me, and the fact that you're fairly flustered right now…I'd say you like me. In fact, I'd go so far as to say you're acting a lot like how I acted back in sophomore year when I was completely in love with you."

Somehow all Finn registers out of this conversation is the last statement and he sputters, "You're not in love with me anymore?"

"What?" Kurt asks sharply. "That's not the point! But, if we're being honest…I don't worship you anymore, not the way I used to. You're human, you have flaws, you're certainly not perfect…but for whatever reason none of that matters to me. I guess that's love, isn't it?" Kurt's giving him a real, honest-to-goodness smile, and Finn can't help but smile back.

"I guess so, dude," Finn concedes, pulling on an old shirt and going to sit beside Kurt.

"So you…you want to…" Kurt shifts, and Finn doesn't think he's ever seen him this unsure.

"Yeah. I…I mean, I've talked to, like, Blaine and Mercedes, and they both think you still like me…and Rachel seems to know…and…" Finn trails off, realizing that words have never been his strong point and Kurt's looking at him with hopeful eyes (and he still doesn't know if they're blue or green, 'cuz it honestly depends on what he's wearing) and Finn, for whatever reason, really, _really _wants to kiss him right now.

So he does.

He figures that Kurt's gotten his answer somewhere in there, because he kisses back, and Finn realizes that he was wrong.

Before? That wasn't perfect.

But this sure is.

000

They're watching the news later, Kurt curled up in Finn's lap and eating some sort of low-fat yogurt (Finn's eating potato chips, but of course Kurt turns his nose up at that) as Finn asks, haltingly, "So. Do you believe in that whole endgame thing?"

"Mm, depends," Kurt answers, setting his empty container aside. "Honestly, whenever anybody said it about you and Rachel, I always tried my hardest _not _to believe it."

"But if somebody said it to me and you? We're kinda the definition of the word, man," Finn points out (and Kurt predictably tells Finn to stop calling him names that he'd use for his old football teammates, although Finn says 'dude' and 'man' and the like so often that he'll probably forget at some point).

"Well, who knows? I might start to like it again," Kurt turns to rest his cheek against Finn's shoulder, closing his eyes.

"Hey, don't go to sleep on me!"

"Then let's go to bed," Kurt suggests, turning off the television and tugging on Finn's hand to lead him to the bedroom. "We've got a pretty early flight anyway."

"Yeah," Finn agrees, leaning to give Kurt another kiss which he returns gladly. "It'll be weird to get back home, hey?"

"I promise I'm not going to avoid you all summer," Kurt smirks at him, kissing him once more before going into the washroom to do his nightly-whatever-routine, and Finn flops back on the bed, a goofy grin on his face. Kurt's really awesome, and Finn's not in true love or anything yet, but he and Kurt have been through almost everything imaginable in the last few years and he's never once wanted to spend time away from him the way he sometimes did with Rachel.

Yeah, this was gonna be awesome. And even though he maybe didn't know what 'endgame' meant until a little while ago (and he's still a little miffed that all his friends seemed to have decided his future before he'd even thought about it. He's kinda wondering how they'll react now, though), he's starting to think that, like Kurt, he likes the word now.

He and Rachel may never have been fated to be endgame.

But maybe he and Kurt _are. _

And right now, he's totally fine with that.

~End~

Notes:

1. Okay, so I've never written an entire fic in Finn!voice before (I relate to Kurt a lot more, really), so this was interesting to say the least although I really enjoyed looking at their relationship from the other side.

2. This was also partly inspired by all of the 'Finn and Rachel are endgame' comments I've read, because so far all that's really been proven on their front is that they break up and get together a lot (and I have no idea how a random comment turned into 8000 words; I really don't…).

3. Hope everybody enjoyed! This is actually one fic where I could see myself writing a sequel, although I don't know if anybody would be interested in that?

4. That's it! Please feel free to drop me a review/comment on your way out; I adore feedback and it gives me warm feelings on these cold winter days :D


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